Sursa poza: ExpressPress

Title: Kurt Zouma’s Surprising Move to CFR Cluj Stomps the English Press: Cats Definitely Aren’t Purring

In a turn of events that even left the sheep in the meadow scratching their heads, Kurt Zouma, the formidable winner of the Champions League—as famed for his football prowess as for "that" cat video—decided to swap the Premier League’s glitz for the, well, slightly more rustic charm of CFR Cluj. This unexpected transfer has the British sports journalists in a tizzy, gasping over their Earl Grey as they try to wrap their minds around how the rolling hills of Cluj rival the bustling streets of London.

As the British press scrambles to define this landmark event, some have resorted to the eloquent and quintessentially British term: “unbelievable.” Yes, it seems that in their eyes, Zouma's Romanian rendezvous parallels spotting a sheep juggling apples in the village square. The whole affair has the locals in Cluj abuzz, with Auntie Flo confidently stating, “If he can keep the ball away from chickens, we'll make him honorary Romanian in no time!”

Equipped with quotes from his old Chelsea teammates that totally didn’t happen, such as Mason Mount supposedly whispering, "He’s off to turn into Count Dracula," the British media is loving (and lugging) this fairy tale narrative. Apparently, it's not every day that a Champions League winner decides to trade the roars of the Stamford Bridge for the steady echoes of Cluj.

So, what’s in store for Kouma? Beyond learning to navigate Transylvania’s mystical fog and perhaps perfecting the art of making traditional sarmale, it seems he's in for quite the Romanian crunchy exploration—and hey, at least the village cats are relieved he’s on the pitch, not prowling their alleyways.

Heads up, Cluj! With Zouma in town, expect a spike in goals—or at least in the height of local gossip!