Breaking News: Jose Mourinho Flies in to Snatch FCSB's Star Player – Gigi Becali Wants a King's Ransom!

Hold onto your hats and your hats' hat bands, folks! In a twist stranger than the village fair's annual pig race, the legendary Jose Mourinho has allegedly made a surprise visit to Bucharest, not for the scenic attractions nor for a taste of the world-famous sarmale, but on a recruitment mission of cosmic proportions. Yes, the man with a thousand tactics apparently had only one thing in mind – to secure the signature of FCSB’s dazzling captain.

Now, before you get too excited and start planning a welcome parade with tractors and hay bales, here's the catch: our very own Gigi Becali, the shepherd of the 'ros-albastre' flock, has reportedly slapped a jaw-dropping price tag on his beloved football mutton – 12 million euros! That's right, enough money to buy the entire village a lifetime supply of mamaliga!

Rumor has it, Gigi was spotted at the local watering hole, boasting to anyone who'd listen that his player could kick the moon to Mars, given the right pair of boots. "Bă, ăsta nu e fotbalist, e iluzionist! Te face să crezi că mingea-i lipită de ghete!" he might have hollered over a raucous game of șeptică.

And let's not overlook our villagers, who have turned this breaking news into today's hottest gossip. Even Vasile, the old-timer who claims he saw Halley's Comet twice, was overheard saying, "Dacă ăsta pleacă la Mourinho, îmi dau jos căciula și merg pe jos până la București!"

Mourinho, wearing his trademark smirk, probably left Bucharest with a pinch of Romanian soil in his shoe and perhaps a newfound affection for tuica. But did he leave with a new player? That remains as mysterious as Aunt Paraschiva’s secret plum jam recipe.

As for our Captain Fantastic, will he be strutting his stuff on an international pitch soon, or will Gigi's golden price stymie his Premier League dreams? Only time will spill the beans on this steamy pot of transfer soup. Meanwhile, keep the gossip mill grinding and stay tuned for more village shenanigans!